paulette's hypermeaningful weblog


Friday, October 31, 2014

Over 10 People Show Up For Oakland Super Duper Music Festival

Over 10 people flocked to the Rise Above Gallery in Oakland for Oakland's first and possibly last Super Duper Music Festival.

Some of the people were men, and some were women, and one was still in grammar school.  Most of them spoke English as their first language and could be heard speaking English to each other when the musicians weren't playing.

The tallest one was under 7 feet tall, and the shortest one was around 4 feet tall.  One of the women wore a dress while the others had pants.  All of the men wore pants.

The venue had electrical power and lights, so the performers were able to play with amplification, and all concertgoers could see the performances because of the lights.  Even though there were over 10 audience members, nobody bumped into anybody else.

There was beer and pizza.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Paulette Bankrolls Oakland's Super Duper Music Festival

This is a picture of a woman playing a keyboard.

The production costs for the Oakland Super Duper Music Festival are over $3 million, so many people are wondering, "If the festival is free, where exactly does that money come from, bringing such high caliber entertainers to Oakland"

Paulette Nichols, the festival's producer said, "I'm paying for all the acts because I have a ton of money, mostly from after I had my song, '92 Toyota Tercel, played on NPR's hit show, Car Talk.  After my song was played on Car Talk, NPR's hit show, people kept sending me check after check after check in the mail.  I'd be at a party with wealthy people, and they'd give me money and their cars so that they had to take cabs home.  One time at my bank, the teller said, 'Wait a minute' and she called the owners of the bank who flew in together by helicopter to take me out to lunch and tell me, 'Don't ever think about how much is in your account, because it'll be enough.'"

It's rumored that the other band in the festival is earning upwards of $1.80.

Paulette is donating her usual fee to Bring the Grizzlies Back to Grizzly Peak, a nonprofit organization dedicated to reintroducing grizzly bears to the Oakland and Berkeley hills.

The Festival will feature Jared Roses and the Skids and the band not called Petrified Feather.

The show starts at 7:00 p.m. and ends around 9:00 p.m.

The schedule is as follows:

7:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. the band not called Petrified Feather
8:00 p.m. - 8:10 Jared Roses and the Skids
8:30 p.m. to 9:00 p.m more of the band not called Petrified Feather

Rise Above Graphics
4770 Telegraph Ave.
Oakland, CA 94609

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

U.S. Government Installs Net Worth Caps For Leaders

The United States government yesterday installed net worth caps for leaders, so if you want to be a leader in congress, a supreme court justice, or the president of the united states, your net worth has to be under 3 million dollars.

People are tired of leaders moving between the public and private sectors for their own benefit and at the expense of regular people who have less than 3 million in assets.

Friday, October 17, 2014

Paulette Balks at Art Leadership Role, Just Wants to Paint

Here is a picture of Paulette

In recent talks within the Wick/Nichols art campaign, Paulette has agreed to step back in the area of art leadership but will remain on the ticket with Emily Wick in an advisory role. 

In her recent press conference, she said the following:

"I don't feel like I have the grand vision and personality to form art policy.  I mean, it'd be nice if all dedicated artists had enough money to do every single thing they'd like to do, and it'd be neat if somebody was there to help them get that money, but I don't think I'm that person.  As for art in education, I can get behind that, but at this point in time, I'd rather be making art than fighting for more money in art education.  I'd teach somebody who I thought I had something to offer, but only if I liked them and thought they were dedicated.  And as for the direction of art in general, who the f#ck cares!  Maybe everybody needs to get off everybody else's back.  I really like painting, and it'd be nice to see everybody in the city of Oakland out painting or drawing or making some kind of art.  Here's my idea.  Oakland Art Day where people go outside and make art so that they can make it publicly.  Is that political?"

Wednesday, October 08, 2014

Paulette's Unveiled Masterpiece Wows Critics, Bores Public

This is a painting of a veil.

On Friday, October 3rd, Paulette unveiled the greatest masterpiece in the history of painting to the cheers of the critics and the booing of the public.

Said one opening attendee, "I don't see what the big deal is, it's just a painting of the veil that covered the painting.  Wow, that Paulette is so much smarter than me.  Hooray."

Said one art critic, "Wow, I really feel that Paulette is dynamiting all the envelopes of representational painting.  It reads more like a poem than a painting, expressing the bittersweetness of life, the hopeful anticipation of intense pleasure and the really deep mystery of the unknown."

Said Paulette, "I had world famous artist, Robert Bechtle, as a teacher, and he said, 'The best part of a painting is the part you can't talk about,' which I think is nice, but I'm of the opinion that the best part of a painting is the part you can't see."

Monday, October 06, 2014

Not One Person Seriously Injured at Emily and Paulette's Art Opening

Here is a picture of people at an art show.

Emily and Paulette's art show went off without a hitch, and not one person was seriously injured.  Nothing really heavy fell on anybody.  Nobody fell from a high place or into a pit of spikes.  No airplanes hit the building.  Nobody got caught in a conveyor belt.  Nobody squirted bbq starter on the fire and had the can blow up in their face.  There were no gunfights, knife fights or fisticuffs.  Nobody was trampled in a stampede of people after the doors opened up.  And nobody was mauled by a wild animal.

When asked how the show went, Paulette replied, "Nobody is reported missing or injured, so it looks everybody's gonna make it home safe and sound to their warm beds with newly laundered sheets after they take relaxing showers or baths."