paulette's hypermeaningful weblog


Friday, July 22, 2011

Paulette Actually Plays Live in Public

How are you?
HOw are you?
My show business career really started to take off again yesterday as I was asked to play at Book Zoo on Piedmont Ave in Oakland, CA, July 29, Friday at 9:00 p.m.  As usual, I'll take requests if I can actually play them on guitar and even if I can't actually play them on guitar.

Book Zoo
14 Glen Avenue
Oakland, California 94611


Some of you like to read what I write, and this makes me feel like writing, and here's an UNEDITED excerpt from my attempt to write about my recession, what's-my-next-step job.
a lot of people ask me how I've developed my mental acuity to such a high degree, and I have to say, it comes out of getting shopping carts all fucking day, walking around until my legs are really tired and I have trouble moving them.  By focusing my mind only on the carts, it, my mind, becomes as sharp as a tack, like a meditative buddhist monk's mind if he hasn't fallen asleep in the lotus position.  I play chess sometimes with my monk friends and we usually have to stop because we don't know enough about the rules to finish a game.  But the conversations we have about what we think the rules might be if we were motivated enough to figure them out, these conversations are really complicated, and if I hadn't been training my mind while hunting carts, there's no way I could hold my own with the monks the way I can now, if I hadn't spent countless hours collecting the carts.
I just kept walking and walking and walking and walking for 6 fucking hours.  "hey, look, there's a fucking cart" I'd say to myself, and I'd walk up to it and touch the handle and instantly have an orgasm, and I couldn't help myself, it excited me so.  "hey, there's another one," I'd say, and I'd walk up to it and touch the handle and immediately have an orgasm so strong, that I had to scream and shudder as though I'd had a really strong orgasm.
This just goes on and on, so I'm just a mess by the time the day's over.   my pants are just soaked, and I'm flushed as fuck, and it's just an amazing time I've had.  I fee like I've lived 20 years in just one day.
there are a lot of idioms derived from collecting carts.  there just are.  carts are ripe for idioms.  sheep dogs were originally called cart dogs because they were used to  collect shopping carts, but the dogs became too expensive after they unionized and demanded decent, inflation proof wages, and the supermarkets started using people because they were cheap and plentiful and could be persuaded that they were lucky to have such interesting work.  Actually the dogs got bored with it and lost interest and didn't really perform so well with carts, so they moved on to sheep, but people didn't seem to mind, and in fact, quite liked to do the work the dogs didn't like to do.  it was a win – win game/situtation.
Have a lovely day,