paulette's hypermeaningful weblog


Wednesday, May 21, 2008

News From Paulette International HQ

In case you don't subscribe to Paulette's Rock and Roll mailing list and didn't know anything at all about the fire at the complex housing Paulette International's Headquarters, let it here be known that there was a fire in the complex housing Paulette International's Headquarters.

Nobody was burned or killed, but I got smoke damage in my apartment.

If you've ever had smoke damage in your apartment, you know that it's a pain in the ass, covering everything you own with a layer of soot of varying depths depending on where the smoke came in to your dwelling. In my case, it came in through the kitchen under the oven and range through some kind of vent. I don't know how it got into the bathroom exactly, but it might have crept in there from the kitchen or small animals carried it in there in plastic bags. Not only is soot unsightly, but it stinks to high hell as well.

If somebody offers you smoke damage, just say "NO THANK YOU," and walk away. They may say that it's a lot of fun with no irritating, stinky, corroding, gummy consequences, but they are not relating the matter to you truthfully. They are lying. They are liars, not to be trusted. Do not trust them. They are bad people and will die horrible, painful deaths filled with shrieking and agony.

I'm sick of the rat race right now.