paulette's hypermeaningful weblog

TOTAL WASTE OF TIME!!!

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Under the Paint: The Skyhorse Painting

Here is a painting of a Skyhorse


Hailed by art cognoscenti the world over as arguably the finest example of a skyhorse painting ever painted, Paulette's "Skyhorse with frogs, gold, wheels and Fujiyama birds" has a back story that goes like this.

Paulette guest hosted the world famous Let's Paint TV show and painted this while walking on a treadmill and rambling at great length.  She had fun while hosting the show where she also sang a song about a BBQ she attended where there was a cat.  At one point in the show, over 5 people were watching it live until there was a technical problem and the live stream was cut off, so annoying the beautiful people who were watching that many didn't return to watch the remainder of of the broadcast.  But before the technical problem, they were able to contribute generously their ideas to add gold and frogs to the painting, ideas which added tremendously to the painting's superlativeness and superlativity.

Rumor has it that many major collectors are saving up to buy it, the skyhorse painting, but rumor is that these rumors are unsubstantiated.

And fanatics can repeatedly watch it being painted on youtube because it was posted there.




Monday, July 28, 2014

Behind the Paint: The What the F#ck Collaboration

This is a picture of a collision.

A lot of people who study Paulette's early work know about her trips to Southern California to visit her cousin, and in particular, these studious people know about this effed up painting by her and some guy who barged his way into her painting, albeit gently, but barged nonetheless.  Today we'll take you to the fascinating and dramatic back story as we look more closely than usual, going behind the paint.

Paulette was at the Malibu Art Fair in Malibu, California, the land of rental police, and she didn't want to sit around and watch dried paint, the paintings of all the art at the fair.  So she got her easel and went across the street to a park, a dried out chapparal park with rattlesnakes that she never got to see, and set up her easel and began to paint with paint.

And then, this guy walked up and watched her paint for a while, eventually saying, "Very nice" with a thick accent, and Paulette said, "Thank you." And then it got strange as he stepped in a bit and Paulette thought he was going to talk about the painting and point at some part of it, but he took his finger, his thumb, and ran it over the sky, getting a nice effect, blending the white and blue together which had previously been striated by the paintbrush.  So, Paulette thought in her one hamster powered brain, "hmmm, that's kind of neat," and then she watched as the guy essentially took over her painting, commandeering it until he finally said, "finish" and signed it.  And Paulette signed it too, and then the guy called his son to come over and photograph the painting and the moment.

The son said, "It's a million dollar painting, he shows in museums," and so Paulette immediately sold the painting right then and there for a million dollars to the next person walking by.  She then moved into the Malibu trailer park and got a dog and lived happily ever after.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Behind the Paint: Animal No. 58 At Auction

This is a paper sculpture

One of Paulette's best known and universally loved paper sculptures, Animal No. 58, is up for auction, and all the really smart art people who are in the know and hip and attuned and savvy and connected and indoctrinated and plugged in and high on the totem pole and well respected by respecters and savoire fairey and comme il faut and part of the establishment and boring and fearful, they all are rabid with excitement over the pending auction which ends in about 18 hours.

The bidding is already up to $0.01, and there's no telling how high it's going to go, what with the bee-hive like buzz and great back story in back of the piece which goes like this.

Paulette got a piece of paper and twisted it up and then put a face on it with sharpie, and then she made some oatmeal with raisins and cinnamon and milk.

Tuesday, July 08, 2014

Under the Paint: The Controversial Nude Woman Playing Guitar

Here is a picture of a human being playing a guitar

We all know this painting because it's so damn beautiful, but did you know that there's a whole story behind it, under the paint, that goes like this?

Paulette didn't have a studio, so she drove up the hill and set up her easel and started painting this painting on July 4th, her country's independence day before it became a Mexican state.  She finished the painting and drove home, dropping the painting off to dry at her friends' studio because it wouldn't fit in her apartment.

And then, while it was being displayed in the Louvre, there was a heated controversy because the woman in the painting didn't have any clothes on, and this was controversial because human beings have the ugliest bodies in the whole animal kingdom, and while this ugliness merely annoys the other animals, it disgusts the human beings themselves.  Nobody can explain this self-loathing, but dolphins think it has something to do with humans being extremely out of touch with nature and just downright strange.

But human beings later evolved and got over their bodies.

Tuesday, July 01, 2014

Under the Paint: The Future Home of No Future Weed Cookie Shop Painting

This is a picture of a building.

All art is just a fad, but this painting of the Future Home of No Future Weed Cookie Shop is not because it's been around for over four hundred years, and Everybody on Earth loves it forever.  But did you know it was painted by human hands and that there's a whole story around it, over it, behind it and under it that goes like this.

Darth Vader, Hannibal Lector, Tai Lung, and Satan bought the building and the ones next to it and planned to tear them down to make condominiums, and Paulette heard this "terrible" news and decided to paint the building because she was going to have a show in it before it was torn down and she needed subject matter anyhow.

Also, some of the inhabitants of the building asked her to paint it because they knew of the incredibly high quality of some of her paintings, so it was almost a commission, but not quite because some of the criteria for a commission weren't met.

Well anyhow, she set up across the street and painted it, and lo and behold, her longtime friend and vocal coach, Brian Brooks, of Beverly Hills 90210 fame stopped by to paint her while she painted the building, and his painting looked like this.

This is a picture of an animal painting.

So it really was quite an incredible event to have Brian Brooks, a star from the hit TV Show, Beverly Hills 90210, documenting Paulette's historic rendering of the doomed building.  And not many people know it, but Brian's paint pigments were made solely from fingernail clippings recycled from nail salons in the Rockridge area.

So the next time you see Paulette's pinnacle of western painting, you can have this extra information in your brain to accompany the image.