paulette's hypermeaningful weblog


Friday, December 18, 2015

My Bigfoot Rises Again

This is a picture of Bigfoot I made in 2015.

In the early 1990's I wrote a short song, a ditty, about Bigfoot and played it at a show at the Depot, the student café in the student union at San Francisco State University.  It was a lavish affair with chairs and tables and people coming from the dorms to see me and Nelson Braxton and Brian Lenz and another really nice guy who played tuba on a song from a poorly written chart I had made.  I think his name was Mike, and he played the tuba, so it was really big sight to see, brass and shiny and visual.

I had essentially dropped out of school again after getting a job as a clerk in a law office.

Back to the story, I played this bigfoot song, and it had these lyrics.

I've never seen it but I hear it exists
it lives in the mountains where it's pretty nice
It's tall and hairy, an enigma to boot
I  hope I used "enigma" alright

starts with a "B"
ends with a "T"
in between, there's letters "i "g" "f" "o" "o" "t".
what's that spell?
It spells "bigfoot"

What's the problem
fuck if I know, but it makes for a saleable tv show.

So these are the lyrics I made, and I sang them to about 20 people, and they might have enjoyed it immensely and told their progeny as the years wore on, and it might have been a watershed experience, a once in a lifetime phenomenally good and spiritual experience.  Somebody videotaped the show on VHS, the predominant consumer video technology at the time, but I don't remember if this song was on the recording because the videographer was a little late to the show.   These were really heady times.  Really intense they were.  I didn't take any drugs before or after the show and a lot of people felt that the quality suffered because of the lack of drugs I had in my system at the time.

I'd always felt like the song was incomplete, and I brought it back into my consciousness because of the UFO & Bigfoot Club I'm in on facebook.  The group is administered by Jeffrey Vallance and Victoria Reynolds, experts in the field of the Bigfoot and UFO's, and it attempts to answer the question, "Why do people report seeing UFOs and Bigfoot in the same area?"  through evidence and illustrative pictures from the internet

Here is more text from the group explaining what the cult is about.


Space Aliens in UFOs are actually evolved humans from the future. Their DNA is breaking down so they have to time-travel into the past to collect viable DNA. The Aliens abduct people to probe them for their reproductive tissue in order to create embryonic T-cells for medical usage. The human anus is also probed to collect samples of healthy digestive bacteria. Aliens travel through a time-portal that is precisely tuned to accept only travelers with the human DNA code. When the portal is open, Aliens can travel to the past—but as an unintentional side affect, ancient primates like Gigantopithecus are inadvertently transported into the future. These huge seeming-out-of-place primates are known as Bigfoot. (Sometimes present-day humans accidentally stumble into the portal and are involuntarily teleported to another time and place—from our perspective they just vanish). When the portal closes, every molecule that came through is routinely sucked back into the aperture. That’s why we never find alien technology or Bigfoot bones lying around.

So I reworked the song, failing to include any of the above theory in the lyrics because I forgot all about it and dropped the ball, but it's easy to edit lyrics.

I added the new verse

It has no family
Lives by itself
probably in a dark cave
It speaks a language of its very own
never heard by woman

Again, the song lacks the UFO/Bigfoot connection, but I hope to use your insanely generous donations to find the time to correct this omission.