paulette's hypermeaningful weblog

TOTAL WASTE OF TIME!!!

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Paulette Posts Photo of Paintings to Social Media

This is a picture of paintings.

Today, Paulette posted a photo of paintings on social media.

The photo was of paintings she brought home from her art show with Emily Wick which recently ended on Nov 4th, 2014.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Paulette Paints Exciting New Series From Space.


Today, Paulette painted some paintings of people, places and things while she was orbiting the moon.  The reason why this is exciting and a big deal is because no pictures of the Earth from this vantage point have ever been taken or painted in all of recorded history.

Said one person on the street, "It's exciting to live in a time when we're finally able to see our planet from a long ways away.  Before seeing Paulette's paintings, I almost thought that the earth was a big, flat sheet of dirt surrounded by big tubs of salty water, but now i can see that the Earth is round, green and orange like a mildewy orange."

Paulette returned to Earth early this evening, and she will be staying at the Holiday Inn Express in Emeryville, CA.

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Emily and Paulette's Reign Brings Real Change in Weather


Most people thought that Emily and Paulette's campaign for Art was Bullshit, but it turns out that it was for real, and now that they're art queens of the queendom of art, they're making real changes, changes of substance, substantial changes that are easy to see and that are really helpful to everybody in the world, artists and human beings alike.

One of these changes is the weather.  It's been getting cooler lately.  August was really warm, hot even, and then look at now, it's November, it rained, and we all know that rain is good.  It's great even because California is in a terrible, death threatening drought.  But look at when the rain came.  It came after Emily and Paulette were elected.

Another change is the Pope urging the G-20 to do something about greenhouse gases.  This isn't just some random idea that he got one day while praying to whomever he prays to.  Paulette sent him a message through her fillings which the holy see received on his foil-covered, pesto chicken sandwich which he stalked and killed on the vatican's wild game preserve.

And another change is the profound amount of compassion and patience and friendliness people are displaying to each other on the freeways and roads and boulevards and ways and avenues and streets, especially in heavily congested areas with little to no parking.

Are you better off today than you were a week and a half ago?


Thursday, November 06, 2014

Congress Passes Worst Bill Ever

These people in clown costumes have dog feces in their shoes.

Today in Congress, they passed a bill which requires all people in the United States to wear clown costumes, put fresh dog feces in their shoes daily, and wear a 10 pound ball and chain with them at all times.

"We are excited about the jobs that this bill will create when it becomes law, and we think it's kind of funny too that we'll all be wearing clown costumes and smell and won't be able to go anywhere without a heavy ball chained to our legs."

Banana Republic, JCrew, Abercrombie and Fitch, Gap, Ann Taylor, Gucci, Hermes, H & M, Macy's, Looey Vittawn, and all textile stocks shot up sharply in heavy trading after the announcement of the bill's passing Congress.  It's now on its way to the POTUS who really likes the ideas a lot, so much so that he's already integrated them into his own life.

"I made my suit with the help of Michelle and the kids.  We like the squishy feeling of the poop in our shoes, and the smell makes it so that other bad smells don't seem quite so bad.  If a homeless person comes around who hasn't washed or changed their underclothes for 6 months, it really doesn't bother me, and I can kind of relate to them better than before.  As for the weighty ball, it helps me focus, and I can't run from my problems."

When asked how it passed so quickly, 1 day, Speaker Boehner responded, "It's as though we were born wanting these things, that the bill emanated from the fiber of our bodies, from the one nature of our souls, from our bone marrow and reptilian brains."

Wednesday, November 05, 2014

Emily and Paulette's Artistic Reign Begins Today

This is Emily and Paulette's Coronation

After a landslide victory in their uncontested race for art, Emily and Paulette were crowned Queens of Art in a ceremony at the Burrito Shop on College Ave in Oakland, CA.  They made a speech together where they said exactly the same words in unison, and it went thusly:

"Thank you for voting us in as your artistic Monarchy.  We hereby decree that from now on, you can do whatever you want to do with your art.  You can tell everybody else to f#ck off because they don't know what they're talking about.  You can find a new teacher if you don't like your current teacher.  You can have fun making art.  Thank you and we hope you have a really good day!"

Everybody ate burritos and tacos and drank beer and then they all went home or back to work.