I Hate When I Get Parallelograms Stuck in My Head

I kind of like this song written by me and the super-fantastic Dinty Child, the guy playing the harmonipiano in the photo by Scott Fleishman.

http://www.pauletteinternational.com/music/parallelograms.mp3

Dinty plays in SESSION AMERICANA.

Dinty plays in SESSION AMERICANA.

photo by Scott Fleishman

Paulette Becomes Media Darling

Dear Reader,

 

In an attempt to kiss liberal voters' asses like a submissive dog and to promote myself, I wrote this song about Sarah McCain.

 

http://www.pauletteinternational.com/music/sarahmccain.mp3

 

 

My good friend and bandmate, Jules, told me about a Sarah Palin song contest in the East Bay Express entertainment weekly, and I entered my song in the contest because I'm really competitive when it comes to music and any art for that matter.

 

Here's what they wrote, and keep in mind when reading it that it's all true.

 

 

And I quote:

 

"Sarah McCain Is a Sexy Sexy Barrel of Oil" by Paulette Nichols

 

"Nichols actually submitted two songs — one about Sarah Palin, the other dedicated to her lesser-known running mate, John McCain. "Sexy Sexy Barrel of Oil" oozes with unappetizing, visceral metaphors, most of them oil-related. (She's coated in steel/But inside she's crude/A dripping black mess wearing pants and a blouse.) It's actually a quite fetching tune, appropriately slow paced with folk roots and lovely acoustic guitar."

 

End of quote.

 

If you want to read the whole, boring article, it's here.

 

http://www.eastbayexpress.com/music/sarah_palin__in_song/Content?oid=855023

 

 

Love Paulette

attempt to document

Dear Reader,

 

On Sunday, I played at the Bazaar Cafe on a bill with Hot As Balls and Luther Monday and his Magic Hammer.

 

It was fun.

 

I didn't have anybody to play with, so i had to play by myself.  It's kind of strange playing music by myself.  I prefer playing with other people.

 

I got vegetables and rice at a chinese restaurant on Clement before going to the cafe.  The food tasted pretty good.

 

Love,

 

Paulette

Spam: I'm playing at the Bazaar Cafe in sf tonight 6 p.m.

Dear Complete, Unadulterated, Enabling, Apologistic Fan,

 

I'm mostly unemployed, so if you want to come kick me when I'm down, come see me tonight at the Bazaar Cafe in SF (San Francisco) at 6:00 P.M. (six in the evening).  I'll play first for about 30 minutes.

 

Bazaar Café
5927 California Street, between 21st & 22nd Avenues
San Francisco, CA
(415) 831-5620

 

I still have some degree of tendonitis, so I'm not going to be scheduling any more shows until i'm all better.  I'm not sure typing is the best for it either, but i have to do something.  From what i've read, if you don't let tendonitis heal, it can become chronic (permanent), and for some reason, that little caveat motivates me to take action or inaction as the case may be.

 

In other news, I interviewed my cousin, John Kilduff a.k.a. Mr. Let's Paint, and posted it on my blog.  So far, many people have not said, "It's far and away the best interview I've ever read, and I wanted it to go on forever!!!"

 

http://paulettethehumanbeing.blogspot.com/2008/10/john-kilduff-interview.html

 

 

Have a lovely week!!

 

Sincerely,

 

Paulette

John Kilduff Interview

What follows is my interview with my cousin John who is also known as Mr. Let's Paint. I interviewed him by e-mail so I don't know what his tone or body language was when he answered these questions.

The "P" is Paulette, and the "J" is John.

P: Hi John,

P: How are you?

J: Fine

P: Here are some questions i came up with.

What is your name?

J: John Kilduff

P: What do you want me to ask you?

J: When are you going to come back on my show?

P: How do you feel about art? Is it good or bad? Explain.

J: It's mostly bad.....but there's always something good....that's what
it's all about

P: What isn't art?

J: Nothing

P: How do you feel about paint? Brushes? Canvas? (what are your
thoughts about them)

J: It's very conventional...like clay...but so what...I like painting and
that's that.

P: How do you feel about exercise? (what are your thoughts about it)

J: I hate doing it.

P: What isn't exercise?

J: your momma...he he ...just had to say that....everything is
exercise...everything is art!

The End

Spam: Global Warming Causes Transsexualism

HI,

I watched "An Inconvenient Truth" last night, and it emboldened me to write this song about how global warming has affected me and how it could possibly affect you.

http://pauletteinternational.com/music/globalwarming.mp3

In case you have any doubts about my science, go to climatechange.org and see for yourself. The website is run by Mr. Ahmadinejad but it has the blessings of much of the scientific community.

Love,

Paulette

Spam: There Is No Substitute For Bacon

Dear Reader,

 

As you already know, I have no new ideas, so I stole from my song, "I Like Coke," and I also accidentally stole from P.J. O'Connell's song, "Dim Star," to make a song about bacon.

 

P.J. O'Connell's song, "Dim Star," is here  http://www.myspace.com/pjoconnell on the myspace music player thing.

 

Mine is here http://www.pauletteinternational.com/music/bacon.mp3

 

I played golf with him two years ago, and one year ago, my friend gave me a cd of PJ's, but i left it in a rental car.  If you found it, could you please give it back to me?!!  I liked it, and it had sentimental value, and it's not really yours is it?!

 

Love Always,

 

Paulette

 

 

 

 

Spam: Even More Political Trash

Hi,

 

I'll understand if you feel embarrassed for me.

 

I know that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, especially if it's in a tiny mind.

 

If you'd like to opt out of these e-mails, let me know.

 

http://pauletteinternational.com/music/gangrape.mp3

 

Sincerely,

 

Paulette

Spam: More Political BS

Dear Reader,

 

Here is a link to a song about Sarah McCain.

 

http://www.pauletteinternational.com/music/sarahmccain.mp3

 

and I'm still playing at the Bazaar Cafe on October 26, 2008.

 

Love Always,

 

Paulette