SPAMINATION: Slightly used pharmaceuticals priced to go

Dear Super Wunnerful Person,

 

Hi.

 

I'm kind of over the novelty of it, but you might not be since you don't know what I'm talking about, and what I'm talking about is this review that my little, teensy-weensy, minute, super small cd album got from this guy in Rhode Island.  I sent him my cd, and he wrote about it.

 

See?!  Look.

 

 

Advance Review intended for the Noise Sept 2010 (which will be published instead in Lemon Basket)

 

PAULETTE [no label]
The New Norte Americana 31 songs
Dear Paulette: You may not be the finest musician in the world, but your gem-like deadpan song fragments (e.g., "Hank Williams Was Gay") are a fresh departure. Listen, I've heard plenty of Americana that is just the same old long-winded crap: fingerpicking quasi-hoedown-style yee-haw-too-long-after-the-fact that makes me want to stay in bed for sixteen hours eating pecan-flavored wheat thins, getting up only sporadically to serially demolish discretely colored segments from a carton of Friendly's Jubilee Roll flavored ice cream (Note: perhaps your upstate New York songwriting partner Mary Liebau can explain to you the hideous phenomenon known as a "Jubilee Roll"). Look, Paulette, here's something that's been bothering me for a long time: why do so-called serious artists have to go about their sordid business with such a sour expression on their gloomy faces? Do they really believe that the vague, questing, earnest artworks forged from the sweat of their unmanicured brows are going to make one lick of difference in this crazy world? Call me a sarcastic nihilist, but I like bands like Ed's Redeeming Qualities and the Holy Modal Rounders and Jonathan Richman and even the Shaggs because they...Get It. They throw the half-cooked spaghetti of so-called "art" at the wall of unpopular culture just to see what sticks. "Life is short so start now." Indeed. Truer words were never spoken. Sincerely.... (Francis DiMenno)

 

It, the review, is prominently hidden away on the web right here.

 

 

also.

 

If you haven't guessed which day you think the cd release party will be on, I will give you until midnight 8/25/10 to send me your guess.  And remember, the contest winner will receive a copy of the exact same cd featured in the above review.  WOW!  We already have five guessers' guesses, so it'll be fascinating to see how this whole thing turns out!

 

My latest swimming song

 

 

Yours,

 

Paulette

 

 

 

 

 

 

SPAM: CD release party GAME

Dear Eager, Patient Human Being who likes music,

 

I know you're enormously upset about my cd release party postponement, and I feel horrible about it too, but you must not dismay, you must not.  You must think about how you still have it to look forward to, how it's coming 'round the mountain, a mountain whose size we can't quite gauge yet.

 

Right now, as I write this thrilling missive, we, some other people and I, are waiting for renovators, people who renovate, to renovate a flat so that the event space can stop being used as a storage space, a junk holder.  It's important that we use this particular event space because of its mojo, because of its commanding view of Telegraph Avenue in Oakland.

 

At this point in the game, I think we should play an amazingly fun and entertaining little game called, "Guess When The CD release Party will be."  You all get one guess as to when the party will be, and whoever guesses correctly or the closest will get a free, autographed copy of my "New Norte Americana" CD.  Ties will be decided by a tie deciding game or credit scores.

 

If you guess "never" and then kill me, you will automatically be disqualified and the prize will go to whoever guesses closest to the median of all guesses, or there will be a dutch auction.

 

But try to be patient because when it happens, the party, it'll be so memorable and important in your mind that you'll feel like you were at a memorable and important event in your life.

 

In other news, I've been making piano songs for my new album tentatively titled, "Piano Songs."

 

Here is one. 

 

I Like Coffee a Lot

 

There are more songs like this sloppily arranged on my music page.

 

Don't eat too much.

 

Paulette

SPAM: Total Success

Dear viewers,

I know you've been with me through the horrible, painful, unbearable, torturous, tedious, inhumane, ridiculously bad,  infinitely miserable, problematically problematic, and hellishly excruciating times, so I thought I'd share with you my fantastically wonderful success.

 

drum roll.

This song was played on WMFO in Medford, MA by Ms. Belinda Rawlins on her show, Bubbles in the Think Tank on July 31, 2010 at around 11:00 p.m. EST.

JOEY SPAMPINATO

And, on a previous show, she actually played this song,

youtube link  Where's My Horse

All this airplay makes me feel like there might be a place for me in the universe.

I planned the CD release party for "The New Norte Americana" but we now have to reschedule because of complications, and so I'm waiting to know when my favorite venue will be available.

buy the cd.  It's still $10.00

Love Always,

Paulette