Lone Gunman Slaughters Entire City of Oakland

Here is a picture of the perpetrator.

In what may be one of the most horrific cases of gun-related violence in over a year, a lone gunman went door to door in Oakland, CA and shot and killed every one its citizens and finally himself.  But all of his victims were at peace with their deaths because they knew that surviving people would rise up in protest and change what was broken, a body armor industry unable to meet consumer demand.

The killer was 18 year old John Smith whose family lives in Palm Springs, CA.  He left no notes indicating his motive.  He had been arrested once at age 17 for torturing dogs and cats, but he received counseling and said he wouldn't do it again.

The FBI and local law enforcement were glad that it wasn't an act of terrorism, just simple, small-scale gun violence.  Said someone in law enforcement, "We're glad that it was gun related, nothing involving greater firepower, because this keeps the number of fatalities down.  Even if it's on a scale as large as this, gun violence isn't really that big of a deal.  It's really just a normal, everyday thing, like sunrise or sunset."

The NRA now plans to hold it's next convention in Oakland.  Says NRA President, George Patriot Washington, "The recent slaughter has nothing to do with our choice to convene in Oakland.  Our convention is a party where we celebrate the empowering freedom of guns and we welcome people from all walks of life to come share our love of this freedom.  We feel that had Oakland been better armed, this attack could have been prevented or stopped early on.  Guns are America.  Take away guns and you take away America."