paulette's hypermeaningful weblog


Sunday, November 06, 2011

Cousin's Tour 2011 Nov 4 and 5

Everything is really exciting.

It’s a lot of fun to be doing whatever it is we’re doing.

John is smiling all the time even though we aren’t talking to each other any more.  I haven’t slept for the past day, and I haven’t bathed or changed my underwear in one day, so I feel like a wild animal, like a dog or a cat.

John flew in from LA, and his arms were really tired after he flew in to Oakland International Airport in Oakland.  I had a lot of fun driving there to pick him up.  So far, that’s been my favorite part of the trip.  It really has.  All of the other drivers on the road were really polite, and it’s a beautiful drive from my house to Hegenberger road down 880.  If you’ve never driven it, you really should. 

We started fighting from the moment I picked him up at the last terminal at OAK, and it still hasn’t stopped.  If anything, it’s gotten worse.  As I said, we stopped talking to each other, and we don’t look at each other either.

We hired some roadies, but they bailed out, jumped ship at the last minute, so we set everything up by ourselves at Smokey’s Tangle as best we could.  I was so glad I’d had so much experience at my retail job carrying things around, lifting them and putting them in places.  I never thought I’d be able to use these manual labor skills anywhere other than at work, but I realize now, that I’m an expert lifter and mover, and it’s something that I’m really proud of.

I sang and played guitar with Mark Hanley on bass, and the audience went absolutely super fruity bonkers, listening and sitting still and only occasionally checking their e-mails and texting and shopping for live entertainment values on their smart phones.

And then John did his thing, and me, hillary, mark, matt, stefanie, and god made a bunch of noise while he did it.  The spray paint smell made me gag, and we tried to catch the exploding popcorn in our mouths.  It was fun.  Then we packed up and went home and drove to Arcata the next day.

We drove in the tercel and got there at about 2:30 or so, maybe 3 or so.  Sitting and driving for long periods of time is a lot of fun.  The longer I sit, the more I can feel my ass, until it goes numb, and there’s something about focusing my attention on my ass that is grounding and comforting.

Our hosts bought a treadmill for $20.00 and were in the process of trucking it to the venue, Blondies in Arcata, when it flew out of the truck on the freeway.  Luckily, and I mean luckily, nobody was hurt.  According to the driver, the only witness, it started to shake soon after he got on the freeway, and then it got quiet as it flew out the back.  And then he saw a lot of sparks in the rear view mirrors.

So I played, and then John did another performance sans treadmill, and it went fine.  I sold a t-shirt, so we’re gonna end the tour early because I sold it for $500,000.00.

And this morning, we went out for breakfast and ate food.  And then we went to the redwood forest park where we looked at Redwood trees and ferns and a stream for 15 minutes.  Then we went to the beach where we looked at and walked on sand for 30 minutes, and then we bought groceries at the nearby grocery store in Trinidad.  The checker tried to charge me $2.99 per pound of organic golden apples when the price was marked as $1.99, and I started screaming, “Don’t Fuck with me sweetheart!” over and over and over and over and then the manager hit me in the head with a pool cue, and I blacked out. 

I woke up in front of the TV watching a documentary about the guy who invented Jelly Bellies.

Love Always,



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