paulette's hypermeaningful weblog


Thursday, November 13, 2008

Important Brian Brooks Interview

Dear Reader,

In an attempt do something really meaningful with my life, I conducted another e-mail interview with a human being.

This time, I interviewed my friend Brian Brooks.

Please let me know now if you have any questions. Because once we get started, things will be so warlike and chaotic that we won't have any time or sanity for questions.

The interview reads thusly.

P: How are you?

B: So-so, I would venture to say.

P: Do you have a bottled hot sauce preference? what's your favorite hot sauce?

B: Definitely Tapatío brand I'd say... at least it is for 8/9ths of the time. Then it's gotta be Crystal™ brand for that 1/9th remainder. I tend to side upon the side of the non-vinegar added sides. Are these the type of questions I can expect from the rest of the interview?

P: Is art good or bad?

B: Mostly okay, at best. It beats doing other things, beating on a dog with the Club™ or burning people in the streets; especially for fey weak artists. Sometimes, I think. But to answer your question further, I might venture to say that art is a luxury item, much akin to a heated cup holder in the brand new car of life. While I don't fully subscribe to the conspiracists theories that the vast majority of art making is a consorted effort to waste art supplies; and kill time for the confused, it is undeniably completely irrelevant to the sleep-at-night morale majority; unless there's a way to stick a commercial in it. Was it the great art critic Maurice Salemnburgh who said "Art is better left undisturbed much as the fanny of a new mom taking cookies from a hot hot oven"

P: Do you think Sky Blue is a good color for the sky, or would another color be better?

B: It's mostly okay, I guess. I'm not really too into colors; I leave these willy nilly decisions for the snot-nosed kids choking on their marking sticks as they create their generic, naive refrigerator art. Perhaps someone else may be better qualified to answer these sorts of questions. May I suggest my friends Carlos or Henry.

P: Do you like to swim?

B: No, I'd much rather eat fries and try to talk to girls named Shannon.

P: Do you have a favorite vegetable?

B: No, but I always like to have spinach on hand. In college, I used to think onions counted as a veggie. This same persistence of miseducation keeps me in the tomatoes-are-a-vegetable camp. I think broccoli's pretty hot.

P: Do you think dogs can really speak english, only they're holding out on us?

B:Perhaps you've heard a shout warning, "Hey don't eat. This nut's, poisoned!"... that sort of communication. I imagine it is frowned upon in the greater canine community. I have seen some usage in commercials, maybe these so called dogs will speak when promised mexican food.

The following are causes or organizations that Brian supports:

The Art of Pillowgoat


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