paulette's hypermeaningful weblog


Friday, June 26, 2015

Paulette's Resume Padding Art Walk Turns Into Nightmare

Here is a picture of Paulette being stung by a bee.

Paulette participated in a piece of performance art that wasn't supposed to be dangerous at all, but it went very wrong quickly.  The performance consisted of pretending to be a part of nature in a natural setting with friends.  The group went for a walk in some rocky hills in the high chaparral eco region on the edge of Los Angeles.  Paulette tried really hard to fit in and be an unobtrusive part of nature as the group inspected a cave in a big rock that looked like a skull.  The group found a beehive in a nearby rock crack where the bees were flying in and out like UPS and Fedex and USPS and DHL at LAX.

In Paulette's mind, she had these thoughts: "Oh how cute, there's a bunch of bees.  I love bees they are so nice and helpful, keeping all the plants pollinated so that we can live on the planet.  Edmund Hilary was a beekeeper, and he climbed Everest, and we're climbing this mountain, so it's as though we're with Ed and he's with us, exploring this exciting and goddess created environment."

And then a bee attacked Paulette, stinging her under her left eye.  She knew she had been stung because it hurt, she felt pain, and she removed a stinger.  After she removed the stinger, she had some consolation knowing that her assailant was going to die immediately, but she still started screaming, "Die motherf#cker, Die motherf#cker" over and over.

Paulette reeled in mild pain for over five minutes, but she quickly regained her composure and equanimity, and the rest of the performance walk was fun and exciting and intensely meaningful for all attendees.  The performance was a triumph in the face of adversity and will look great on her resume.


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